Seth MacFarlane is NOT funny…

Anyone who thinks Seth MacFarlane’s homophobic, xenophobic, anti-women and anti-Semitic so-called “jokes” were funny last night on the 85th Oscars show/presentation should watch really funny   comedians/people to see what real humor is, like Henny Youngman, Myron Cohen, the Marx Bros., old and new TV shows with good writing, like All In The Family and Big Bang Theory.  MacFarlane is a no-talent jerk, who should not be paid a dime for his lack of talent.  The biggest problem I have with his tasteless jokes are they feed into narrow-minded bigoted people’s beliefs.  I mean, there are really people who believe Hollywood is controlled by Jews; hell, there are people who believe there is a secret Jewish plot to control the world (maybe if there were, the world would be a better place…just joking!).  Many people understand that he was just “joking;” I knew (or rather hoped) he was joking, but was still offended by his humor.  It’s not a question of “political correctness;” it’s a question of respect.  There are clever ways to be funny without making jokes at people’s expense..  If one can’t be funny in a truly clever but respectful way, get off the stage and make room for really talented comedians who can.

By the way: anyone who thinks it’s easy to learn a foreign language well enough to work in it like Penelope Cruz or Salma Hayek outta try and do it, and see if you can speak so that the native speakers of that language think you are intelligible in their language and won’t laugh at your pronunciation.  I say, kudos to these women for doing just that.

You wanna complain about people sounding abominable in another language: listen to Mayor Bloomberg trying to speak Spanish; it’s pure torture!  Make it stop!!!

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When are we ever gonna see Jonas Armstrong here in the U.S. again???

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For those of you who don’t know, this is a picture of the next People Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year: Jonas Armstrong, a young British actor (yes, another one, but not “just another one”), whom I first saw in the lead role in the latest BBC incarnation of “Robin Hood,” which played here on BBC America from 2007 – 2009.   The first season (“series” in the UK) was a wonderful, swashbuckling story, which made me fall quite head-over-heels for this looker, who was born in Dublin, Ireland, but came to the UK at age 6, where he grew up.  Unfortunately, TPTB lost their minds and had Guy of Gisbourne assassinate (Maid) Marion at the end of Season 2.  Can you imagine?  It was a fatal blow in more respects than one: it basically dashed all our hopes that we would see Robin and his lady love finally tie the knot and live happily ever after.  With this f**ked up ending, NOBODY had a HEA.

Anyway, he’s been in quite a few critically-acclaimed projects on UK TV (most notably, the recent “Hit and MIss” with our own darling of the indies, Chloe Sevigny), but unless you get Direct TV (do you know anyone who does?), you haven’t been able to see it unless you do transcontinental streaming on your PC.  I, for one, refuse to watch him on my PC!  Done it before, and it’s a nasty experience (and it ain’t cheap to boot).  I mean, you need to get the full effect….and how can you unless he’s bigger than life?

So basically, today’s rant/vent/kvetch/whine is about the dearth of Jonas Armstrong on our TV and movie screens here in the U.S.  Our sources do tell us that he is currently filming “All You Need Is Kill” in London with none other than Tom Cruise, (whom, let’s face it, we really could do without), but this isn’t set for release until March 2014!!!  What am I gonna do until then w/out my beloved???  I’m already suffering terrible withdrawal symptoms…..it’s not fair!!!

Fifty Shades of Grey is lotsa hype and no big deal

For the life of me, I cannot understand why people are so freaked about about the kinky f**kery in 50SoG.  I’ve read MUCH racier stuff in historical romance (my literary “genre” of preference; thanks, Ma!).  I guess they’ve never read those fabulous bodice rippers whose covers the beloved Fabio used to grace (remember him?).  Don’t let the negative hype prevent you from reading a good love story.  Yes, it’s extremely poorly written, but bottom line: I enjoyed reading the books.  Isn’t that the main idea here?  I mean, whom are we trying to impress with our literary choices?  I say, impress yourself, and that means, choose books you enjoy to read for entertainment.  There’s time enough to be wading through complex writing, analyzing for symbolism, irony and the like.  Everyone needs a good mental rest, and this is a darn good way to get one.

The thing I REALLY object to in E.L James’ books (yes, in addition to the terrible, repetitive writing) is the obvious lack of editing.  There are so many instances of the characters using British expressions, I was not able to accept the characters and plot as really being American.  At times, bumping into these expressions was quite jarring.  Would it have been so difficult, Ms. James, to employ a native American English speaker to edit your writing for authenticity?  I’ll be glad to do it should you (or anyone else) need such help in future!